Race Report: The Revenge of Stede Bonnet

It has been a good while since I've written about a race. Honestly, I haven't really been wanting to run, let alone race and write about it.
But last night's event was unique to local racing and pretty damn cool. 
I bring to you: Eagle Endurance's "The Revenge of Stede Bonnet".

I stole this image from Eagle Endurance.

Always give at least a little backstory, ya? 

"The ‪#‎30dollarclub made me do it."  
You'll hear this phrase more and more, not only from Heather and me, but many of our local running bud's too. 
We race (or at least attend) enough Eagles Endurance events that the $30 per month more than pays for itself over the course of the year. We pay $30 a month and race any and all Eagle races. HUGE savings, and it also has the nice side effect of creating a pretty tight community of like minded idiots.
You should join. We have fun.

Camping and Running. Like Chocolate and Peanut Butter.

This race was held Octobeer 13th, 2018 at  Biggin Creek in Monks Corner, SC. I spelled Octobeer like that on  purpose.
Three different options were offered to racers. A 5M, which was one loop, a 15m of 3 loops and a 10hr of as many complete loops as you could finish in the allotted time.
Pretty cut and dry sounding ya?
Nope!
Start time for all races was at 19:00. Which is 7pm in normal people speak. So it was dark. Not wicked dahk, but quickly getting there.
I had run this venue last Feb for The Almost 9 Miler. (I could have sworn I wrote a review on that, but I can't find any sign. Quick re-cap of that race-I got owned by some 14yr old, and basically everyone else on course.) But back to this race, I knew the course was pretty damn similar terrain to my Hulk with the same kind of twists, turns and short climbs, so I wasn't expecting a stellar performance, but did hope for at least 50k over my 10hrs.

Well, sometimes you gotta take one for the team. The details on why aren't mine to give, but I instead ended up setting out on the first lap with Heather's 10yr old kid, Kain, (Did I spell that right?) while Heather did her own race.
The new general plan was for me to run with the little spaz then kick it at camp with both the boys and crew for her as best I could.

We'll start with the first part of the plan: Running a race, at night, with a 10yr old.
Ever done it? 
You should. Or at least you should with this kid. He didn't give a flying f*ck that it was dark as a pocket. I'm not even sure why he bothered with a lamp. He never seemed to use it. Any root or branch was just another fun feature to jump or duck. Every other person on course was a friend and a competitor. A constant monologue about nothing in particular with the occasional "For Grampa" streamed from him for five miles.

Kain and I spent the first ten to fifteen minutes picking people off. He'd come flying up on them, give them a friendly "On your left" than blow right by while offering some cheerful encouragement or talking about Minecraft or some random shiny thing.
Then, of course, the inevitable happened, he slowed down. Not to a crawl, but enough that everyone we had passed now passed us. We made a team decision to do a Run/Walk for the rest of the way based on how he was feeling.
He must have been feeling pretty good. Biggin Creek is windy and rooty. There are a few short little climbs that get your quads wondering what you're doing, and some of it is pretty technical. 
He always seemed to walk the easy stuff though. 
We finished the five miler in about 1:14:00. Not too shabby for a 10yr olds first Night Trail Five Miler. He actually ended up placing second in the Men's cat!
(We fully encourage the kids to skip the work-a-day races and go right for the good stuff.)



After celebrating a bit with the kid, it was time to concentrate on wifey.
She seemed to averaging about 1:05/1:10 a loop. Her second loop through (my first as Crew as I'd just run with Kain) all she needed was a Tailwind re-up, then she was gone. Next loop all she needed was a Stroopwaffle and a Tailwind re-up then she was gone.
It's now about maybe 11:30 and it feels like thirty damn degrees. I start freezing in my running gear so, like a sensible human being, I finally change into my sweats and my super awesome Camp Slippers! I'm finally a little warm, its actually only about 60 out, and I sit around at the Out of Bounds compound we seem to have at every race we go to chatting with our friends.
But duty calls so I head back up to the transition area (Start/Lap/Finish/Aid Station) to wait for my girly, this time with a bottle of Tailwind at the ready.
When she comes in from her fourth lap (20miles), I know she's going to need a little more than the Tailwind I'd brought. To my surprise, she asked me to pace her! 
I used to love running with Heather, but she's gotten too strong of late and I cant hang.
I tell her this! "Hun, I'll run with you, but I'll slow you down". After confirming with me she was ok with this I had to go get out of my wonderfully warm sweats and back into my funky running shorts.
A few minutes into the course I see why she wants company. There's an obvious homeless camp set up just off trail. A Walmart mountain bike, tent, beat up chair and back-pack all set up nicey-nice. 
I never got the feeling of being watched, but I certainly didn't want Heather running alone near this. 
At this point we're doing a 3/2 Run/Walk. Thank god...my legs are shot from a bike ride early that morning and I'm not in running shape.

This kind sums up how I feel about running right now.

We have a reasonably uneventful lap this go-around. We might have seen an aardvark, or maybe it was an opossum. Basically we enjoyed being out running a 1am.

Lap 2 has bit of a backstory in itself.
After finishing my lap with the kid, most of us spent some time kicking around between the Start Line and our camp. On one of my walks back to the aforementioned camp I was triple Sea-Dog dared to run a lap naked. (To protect the not so innocent I won't say who dared me, lets just call him Mr. H)

I've been friends with Mr. H for a few years now, but I've been friends with some of you for a whole lot longer. Most of you know I'm happiest naked. 

Reflective body paint. I need to lose weight.

I really enjoy running naked. I've done my share of UGHs and even a couple of Naked 5Ks. Wifey's been there for most of them, so I don't think she was least bit surprised when I warned the volunteers at the Start/Finish line, dropped trow and headed into the woods.

We ultimately only ended up passing one other runner this loop and Heather went first to give the poor fella plenty of warning. Coming into the Start/Finish Line I think my lamps blinded anyone that may have been (for some ungodly reason) offended by me being naked.

You may recognize this picture from one of my other awesome blogs.

Heathers' 7th, my 4th total lap: it's feeling a little chillier and we're going to be moving much slower now, which means clothes are now a smart option. Shorts on, shirt on, get some Tailwind in my bottle, food down my throat and off we go. It's about 2/2:30AM.

As nothing of real significance happened on this lap, I'm going to just express how awesome it was to be outside in the early morning running in the woods. Sorry Roadies, keep your marathons. I want to see the stars when I run. I want to hold my wife's hand while we're on a Walk. I want to take in the air and smell rotting trees, growing flowers and even the fetid mud. 
Night Trail Running is awesome and this event captured all of that, as well as providing us with ultra food, great company, fun camping and a chance to hang with the #30dollarclub and many of our Out of Bounds friends.
We finished up our last lap around 4am, Heather ultimately winning overall!


All and all a great event. Step outside your normal running and give this kind of race a try. Better yet, come to South Carolina and race with us next year.


Thanks to Eagle Endurance and all of our usual suspects for an unforgettable weekend.

Fod Bloog: Soy Burger Nori Wrap with Ketchup

Writing is hard.

I really eat the stuff I bloog about. Don't think for a second I just toss this shit into the garbage. 
It's also possible I was drunk for most of this bloog process.

I'm a militant vegetarian and money's fucking tight, so sometimes you just throw a couple of things together and hope for the best.
You prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
Guess which this creation was?

Today's cuisine is a fusion of traditional Japanese Sushi mixed with some American ghetto frozen patty goodness. When you add the word "Fusion" to your menu you can charge extra. Did you know that? It's true. 
Fusion and Tapas, what a bunch of shit. Just feed me.

Presentation is everything with this dish, mostly because it tastes like ass with some ketchup on it, so before even prepping this make sure to have your Pioneer Dinner Plates on hand.

Neanderthal man here can't wait to eat.

You probably already read my review and have those plates at the ready, so lets get to the recipe!

First, thaw out your Soy Burgers by nuking them for a minute or so. 
I prefer Aldi brand burgers. Any Soy Burger honestly tastes like shit, but Aldi is cheap.

I'm so excited for these, I took off my pants.

While you're a-thawing, heat up your skillet pan. And once that pans warm, add your cooking oil of choice.
Olive Oil tastes better, which won't really help, is probably better for you, but also has a lower flash point. Vegetable Oil is cheap and most everyone has some in the cupboard. So use whatever you want. I would be weary of using Karma Sutra Love Oil though, there's no flash point listed, and I think Strawberry might over power the otherwise shitty taste of a soy burger.

I bet this tastes like High School romances of days gone by.

Burgers' thawed? Toss it into your pan and cook that fucker for a while. Flip it when feels like you should flip it.
Don't splash any oil on you.

Remember when I rescued this pan from an abandoned apartment?

While your tasty burger is cooking up, bust out your Nori of choice!
I buy whatever I can find.

Still excited. Still no pants.

Check your burger! Don't burn it. Bust out your ketchup or catsup or whatever and slap a sheet of nori on your classy dinner plate.

All good fusion is served on camping plates.

We're getting close to the end of the recipe! Are you excited? Nobody will blame you if you take off your pants. Unless you're baby sitting or something. 

Take that burger out of the pan, slap it on the nori, squirt on some ketchup and there you go!

This is going to taste much like you'd expect to. Make sure to have a decent side dish to go with it. Lima Beans might be good. And all good chefs will offer a drink pairing for their cuisines, and my pairing to go with this dish is Listerine.

Stay tuned for more Fod Bloogs. I have ideas for Bunny Turd Salad and a Breakfast with Jesus menu.
In the meantime, maybe check out one of my original Fod Bloogs, On The House Bloody Mary Mix.

Product Review: Merrel All Out Crush Tough Mudder 2 Boa

I think it was last fall or maybe last winter?
Tough Mudder and Merrell put together an Instagram Photo Contest with prizes including a trip to CO for two to race in a Mudder, entries into a Mudder 5k and a pair of shoes, these shoes here:

You should do Tough Mudders.

The contest was a combo of votes for your pic and having Mudder choose your pic from the final ten.

A post shared by Geoffrey Hart (@bigcatbox) on Mar 2, 2018 at 7:42am PST

Long story short, we didn't win the Grand Prize, (still don't know who did, there was some dodgy shit going on with the voting) but ultimately we did end up winning two tix for a Mudder 5k, and these kicks.

Here's my thoughts on these things.

Merrells rarely fit me correctly. I ordered an 11, got an 11, but they felt like a 12. HUGE.
But I ran a trail half at Tuckfest in them anyway.
And since that half I've put a bunch of runs into them. I've washed them several times and it seems more like they've shrunk than my feet have grown a full size in 4 months.
Anyway, they fit now...

Starting from the bottom of the shoe:

They won't stay white long.

It has a nice aggressive sole, it gripped everything I run on and sheds mud pretty readily. The tread kinda looks like Chinese Stars. Remember those?

6mm of drop in this kick. The heel maxing out at just over 22mm and the toes coming in around 16mm. This felt really great for me. There's a good amount of ground feel, but I never felt susceptible to any ground protrusions. Not that Myrtle Beach has lots of rocks.

Did I use this picture in my Orange Mud blog?

There's a pretty lightweight mesh and thermo plastic upper, which feels pretty damn stable around my foot. If you happen to slosh into a puddle, which this shoe is obviously meant for, most of the water will quickly drain. Merrell claims 8oz per shoe.  I don't have a scale, so I'm going to trust them.

I look awful. Usually I'm really damn good looking.

The ankle cuff is a nice neoprene fabric, quite comfy. But there's a weird flare around the ankle that actually lets debris into the shoe. Typically a Runner Lace Lock would have alleviated this.

Now, the vegan meat and potatoes on this shoe, which is actually Vegan! Huge win for me, thanks Merrell!!

The Boa Lacing System!
 I wish I had this on my road bike shoes. What a great concept.
But on OCR shoes?  This system sucks, and I'll tell you why.
First, I could never get it tight enough. I had to pull slack lace at the front of the shoe and tie a knot to make the string shorter. I don't have a picture of this, but look at the pic below and use your imagination.
Second, the knob you use to tighten the laces does not work well with wet and muddy hands. The grip on the knob is insufficient to offer any purchase when you're covered in mud. And when you're thrashing around in waist high deep mud puddles, you really don't want that shoe feeling like it's gonna fall off, you want it tight. 
Laces may come loose, but you can easily re-tighten them, even with muddy hands. If you're drenched in mud and these shoes come loose, you're boned.

Twisty turny to tighten this shoe, Pull the knob to loosen. Cool concept gone wrong here.

Loosening and removing the shoe however, is a snap. You simply pull the knob up, the laces loosen, you pull the tongue forward and the shoe comes right off.
Neat.

So I'm in no way knocking the Boa lacing system, it's a great concept that works wonders with some shoes/boots. But for OCR, that knob needs to be updated. A cross shape or even a square would work much better than a round slightly gnarly knob.

I'm mostly content with this shoe. It is my current go-to trail shoe. The drop is nice and the ground feel is good. But I do run into problems, every damn run, trying to tighten them.
I understand that Merrell does offer a standard lace version of this shoe. 
I want that one. I may try to save the hundred bones it currently retails for. Everything other than the lacing system kicks ass. With standard lacing, that funky flare at my ankle would (probably) go away too.

I have not OCR'd in these yet. I have done some nice muddy terrain though. One day I may cash in those Mudder 5k tickets, or probably just do a Full Mudder instead. I'll post a re-cap when I do. Until then, it's coastal Carolina running.

Product Review: Orange Mud Double Barrel

I've been eyeballing this pack for a couple of years. But even after reading reviews and talking to a couple of guys/gals wearing it, I could still never pull the trigger on spending the $110 or so bucks for it.

But as fate would have it, a couple of weeks ago I was named Employee of the Year at Hart Strength and Endurance Coaching. 
To show her appreciation, my boss and our favorite local race director joined forces and got me the Orange Mud HydraQuiver Double Barrel hydration pack.

Ya know, I just recently did a review on my Nathan VaporKrar Pack. And I really like that pack too. I'm pretty easy, I like most things. I don't really care for kids or even humanity as a whole, but other than that I'm pretty easy. I really like this pack.

I live in Myrtle Beach. I run in Myrtle Beach. It's summer in Myrtle Beach. 
Myrtle Beach is hot and humid. You've probably already heard me speak of this, but it's true, and until you've experienced it...

No chest strap! 

The biggest feature of this pack that I like is the lack of actual pack. It's not a traditional vest in any sense. There is less than half the material against my body as there is in my Nathan. This makes for excellent breathability and prevents that awful sweat waterfall I typically get. 
Ya know, sweaty body, builds up around the pack, which then oozes into my running shorts then pours down legs into my shoes filling them with sweat within 5 miles.  
That happens to you doesn't it?

When I first put this thing on, my first thought was that the straps were going to dig into my armpits and chafe like a sonofabitch. (I run with no shirt on 75% of the time.)

Armpits. We all have them.

To wear the pack properly, you are going to have to tighten up those straps into your pits. But when you're actually running, you barely notice them. I put some body glide on the straps and my pits, just to prevent chafe-age, and so far, so good. 
I will tell you though, bringing your arms overhead while wearing this pack is a challenge. (Most runners won't really need to do this, but if you do OCR, I would not recommend this pack for racing in.)

I was also slightly concerned that I wouldn't be able to reach the bottles as my range of motion in my shoulders isn't what it should be. 
But I have no problems retrieving or replacing the bottles in the pack. With a little practice it has become second nature. Speaking of bottles, this pack comes with two 24oz bottles.

Notice how little the pack really is? Very little skin coverage.

There is minimal bouncing from this thing, in fact, the pack itself does not bounce, only the bottles in the pack. So if you happen to dick up you hydration and run out of water, this pack wont sway at all.

Its recommended to wash this by hand. So I do. I get really gross when I run and really should wash it after every, not every other, run. With the air conditioning on it will dry within 24hrs.

I guess I could just wear it in the shower.

There is a bit of storage in this. Nothing like a Camelback or whatever, but a bit. There's two Velcro accessible shoulder pockets that will hold some food or a smaller phone. There's a large zip pocket in the back.

Still sudsy.

Word of warning on this pocket though, it will change the fit of the pack, this changing where the bottles sit. The pocket is between the body and the bottles, so if you try to jam a windbreaker in there, the bottles are going to sit weird. But if you roll that windbreaker up nice and tidy, you can easily store it with the shock cord that sits between the bottles.

When I was reading other reviews on this pack there were some concerns about hearing the water in the bottles slosh around.
I am a little deaf, but this has not been any kind of issue for me at all.

Never actually wear your hat like this, you'll look like a schmuck. But you get another good view of how small the pack is.

There were concerns about the bottles popping out. I haven't had that happen, nor do I see it happening unless I face plant, which is always a possibility I guess.

Broken wheelbarrow not included.

Why this is going to be my Go-To pack now:
1) As its warm enough here 9-10 months a year I don't have to  carry layers. 
2) Ninety percent of the races I do are Looped Courses. So I don't need 70oz of water and a ton of food on me.
3) It's really damn easy to wash out a water bottle.
4) I can carry two different kinds of hydration if I want. Water and Beer!
5) It's minimal and light (10oz sans bottles)
6) It looks like a Jet Pack.

I didn't want to use the naked picture of me doing this, Google and Orange Mud might get mad.   But if you PM me, I can send it to ya.

If you hate carrying Handys, Running Belts don't work for you, or you don't need to carry everything you own, definitely check out Orange Muds line of stuff. 
And as usual, look into trying it on before purchase or contact them for more info.

Product Review: SIxteen Dollar Shade Tent from Aldi

I'm writing this review in June/July of 2018.
Things are currently looking up for Heather and me. And although we're far from loaded we decided to spend some money on Skin Cancer prevention in the form of:

Pretty Orange and Blue Tent Thingy!!!

Boing.

We decided this summer to purchase a State Park pass. For South Carolina, I gotta add, not Vermont or Nevada. It cost us $75 and essentially get's us into any SC State Park. 

Well, we've got TWO State Parks in Myrtle Beach. Huntington Beach State Park and Myrtle Beach State Park. Huntington is a ten minute drive up the road from our gym and MB is a ten minute drive from our house. 
So we now spend a good amount of time at the beach! 
Sorry clients, I unplug while I'm there. I'm working on my boogie board skills.

I don't like to use Sunblock. Ya, the sun will give you cancer, but shit, so will covering your epidermis with chemicals. 
And Aspertame will give you cancer too.
So we decided on taking a chance on this $16 funky pop-up sun shelter.

It is realllllyyyy easy to set up. You just take it out of the sleeve and toss it in the air, Boing!



Flip it right side up, and good to go.

It comes with four guy lines and nine, yes mine had nine, stakes to secure it into the beach sand....?  I do stake it down, not sure how much it really helps. Leave a cooler in it too, it'll help weigh it down.

It gets windy on the beach, Stake the frame and guy lines.

It's a pretty handy place to stash all your gear to prevent the wind from blowing it away too. Towels, Boogie Boards, shoes, all that kind of beachy shit, just toss it into the shelter.

Even at the beach it looks like we're having a damn yard sale..

It'd be myopic of me not to mentions a couple of drawbacks though.

It is not the most durable material. If you let your dog play in it, it will get destroyed.

If you cook in it, you'll get a big melty mess of a tent husk.

It is not an Umbrella. Don't expect to get your Tommy Bahama beach chair under this thing.

It may take you 45 minutes to figure out how to take it down, or if you watch our video, it may only take 45 seconds.



If you already shop at Aldi and are looking for a quick sun shelter, I really do recommend this one. Unless, like I said, you have dogs.

I can fit in it.

I will try to post an update if we bring this to a race. Not sure what we may use it for, but I like to take as much shit as I can carry to any race I go to.

Notice the shoes match the tent case? I planned that. Aiming for a GQ cover.

Follow up, July 4th 2018: This thing is brutally susceptible to wind!!!

Race Review: Knock On Wood Running Festival

My goal for this race was 50k.
The overall plan, which I made public, was to start with 100 Milers at 8pm, knock out my 50k, take a nap, then pace some clients who were doing their 50k or 100m.

What I really wanted to do though, was my 50k then sit around drinking, eating and cheering on clients from the comfort of my camp chair.

Neither of those scenarios really panned out...

Not really as bad as it looks.

Heather and I have done this race twice before. It was our first 100k back in 2016, then our first 100m in 2017. 
Our first year was just the two of us, somehow in 2017 we dragged up 20 something people to camp and race with us. This year we dragged up maybe 15 but also had a handful of clients there!

The quick takeaway here is that this is not only a great race, but a great social event. I'll be elaborating on that more over then next three million words...or you could just cut out now knowing this race is great. Your choice.

We were introduced to Upstate Ultras at Paris Mountain back in 2015. We've always had a great time at Upstates events, living four to five hours away makes it hard to get to all the Upstate events, but it's always worth it.

Here's my race story/review...whatever you want to call it:

Our buddy Paul picked us up in his kick-ass van (it's really great to have an adventurous bud with a van) and we were on the road by 8am. I spent a good amount of time on the ride studying for my upcoming Pharm Tech exam. In fact, I should be studying right now, not dicking around writing a blog nobody reads.

It only took us 4hrs to get to Conestee Nature Park, the venue for this event. To our surprise there was already a good amount of people there setting up. There's a HUGE amount of space to set up your camp, but there was a particular spot we wanted. We would ultimately end up with three pop-up canopies, four or five tents and a couple of cars. 

After finally getting all our shit set up we walked over to Rego to shoot the breeze with the RD. Not only is Matthew fast as hell, he's friendly as f*ck too.  I hope I have a picture of the kickass new hat we got from him.
I do, it's at the bottom of the blog.

The weather had been iffy, that's a word, most of the morning. Around 2pm though...it got beautiful out. Hot and sunny! People were trickling into the venue and our camp grew throughout the afternoon, our clients came in, some local friends arrived and we made new friends. 
I'm not sure how/why we attract so many new friends at these events, but I'm really glad we do. John, if you happen to read this, here's a huge thanks for helping out the way you did man!
I would guess at this point, maybe four o'clock, there's about a dozen of us kicking around drinking cognac (thanks Paul!) and shooting the breeze. Our race doesn't start until 8pm, so what the hell else are we going to do? I would have busted out the hacky sack, but there were now enough folks around to make that dangerous (to them, not me). The RD hangs out with us a good bit and our buddy Eric drifts in and out of camp.
I'm telling you, Ultra camping is where it's at.

There were only brief periods of rain.

Let's get to the race details.
This race draws a super diverse crowd. I can't get into too many details, mostly as I don't know them, but RWB and Enduring Warrior have some affinity with this race.
It's not uncommon to see an athlete running in a gas mask and there will always be at least one American Flag on course. This year you would see athletes running with a mannequin leg which had an official bib and timing chip on it.
You would see a blind athlete complete a hundred miles.
You would also see a man, truly given a second chance, finish his 50k.
I can't give those stories the justice they deserve. But I recommend looking into them.

7:40 or so the RD gets all the 100 milers together for the race briefing. You know the normal stuff? Well, this wasn't the normal stuff. I've never been brought to tears during a race brief before. There's some real heavy shit here, heavy, but also amazing.

For some reason at the eight o'clock start time, Heather and I found ourselves towards the front of the starting pack. Maybe I look like I know what I'm doing?
I don't. I'm still learning. Every race I learn.

Lemme hashtag this   #myboausa

We start on the sidewalk just in front of the pavilion. A few hundred yards up we dip into the woods. This section is a bit technical. There's roots, rocks and re-bar. You need to watch your step as the trail winds up, down and left to right.

Trail spits us onto some pavement, right at a pretty major trail crossing, where we bang a right over a bridge. It's a pretty bridge. Hope I can find a picture.

It's only a short run down the road before slipping back into some singletrack. Ya know, I've run section thirty odd times and still can't think of anything remarkable about this quick section.

Back on to some pavement, again just for a short while before singletrack takes you up what I called the Green Hill. This was a really pretty area to run in. The trail was that neat upstate red clay type of terrain cutting through a field. There's trees at the summit with picnic tables circling them. The kind of place you just want to sling a hammock and have a beer.

After descending Green Hill a right hand turn brings you onto pavement to Aid Station II. This was an unmanned station of H20, Tailwind and some Fuel 100 Electro-bites, or as another runner called them "Shitty Teddy Grahams" (I like 'em, just needed lots of water to go with them).

A sharp left brings us into a slightly swampy area. There's a wooden bridge or two, some frogs and some ducks. It's nice.

Back on to pavement, up a little hill then back into the woods. This section was a little more swampy than the slightly swampy area. There's a good size observation post and several benches to sit on.

Sometime around 11pm on Saturday Heather and I took a break up there.

It's all still foggy. My memory is foggy. I never noticed fog on course.

Some boardwalk, which although feels a bit slick, makes for some really great running. The rebound and energy return is great. This boardwalk run is brief before taking a left into a swampier area that was even more swampy than the slightly more swampy area. But this isn't Low Country Swamp, so it's pretty run-able.

Damn this was a pretty course.

Back to pavement and across the bridge to the dreaded Lollipop section.
We called it a lollipop because this section was an out and back with a loop at the end.
We call it dreaded because the top of the loop can be balls hot, there's a climb, and as it's and out and back, there's a lot of traffic. Oh, it's also a climb out of the lollipop back to the paved walking path which brings you past a bunch of tents and into the finishing/timing chute.

Damn, that's a lot to read. Try typing that with a cat half on your keyboard.

Just a bit before the climb to "Balls Hot Field"

Now that I've gotten the course description out of the way, here's some other points.
The timing guy was spot on and very attentive. Hell, we even saw him chase down an 8k guy that did 2 extra loops for fun.
The Aid Station at the line was great. If it wasn't the RD himself, there was another friendly volunteer or two there to help you with anything you might need off the huge food table.
There's some really damn fast kids in Greenville.
I also need to mention again that this race attracts more than just the normal Ultra community. When was the last time you saw a blind dude knock out a hundred mile trail run?

There's a free One Mile Kids Run, an 8k, a 50k, a 24hr Relay and the 100 Miler. So take your pick. Rego for 2019 opens May 23rd.
Look for the big orange tent, the hot chick with blonde braids and the ugly skinhead with tattoos and a limp, because you know we're going to be there.

The pink one's mine.

Race Review: Swamp Stomp 50k

Eagle Endurance runs a $30 per month deal. You pay 30 bucks a month and you can run any and all of their local races. You save serious bank while giving the RD a semi-solid budget so he can bring you better and better races. It's a win win really.
Here's a link to that Thirty Dollar Club. 
I should also mention that active Hart Strength and Endurance clients get discounts off individual races. Message me on that.
The wife is probably going to say the same thing in her review, we spent a large portion of our Fall and Winter running Eagle Endurance races. In fact, that whole Francis Marion\Swam Fox\Palmetto Trail area became a 3rd home for us, the 2nd home being The Hulk, of course.

But this was our first time running the Wambaw Swamp Stomp!

She might be a dork, but she still snagged 3rd in the 50m

The start of this race is at Witherbee Ranger Station in Cordesville (or Huger) SC, just outside Monks Corner and Charleston SC. It's about 1:45 drive from Myrtle Beach. Not an awful drive, but it was very nice to have Friday night camping offered. We camped right across the street from the trail head where I had gotten SAG'd when I DNFd the Swamp Fox Ultra back in November.
I actually feel kind of weird doing races that don't have camping involved.
We had our tent up, there was an RV parked nearby and the RDs were set up at the trail head. Very nice quite evening. Not like Ragnar camping at all.
We sat in our hammock and had pizza for dinner. Gross, frozen pizza.

I keep trying to go Vegan.

We've done enough Eagle Endurance races to know, or at least recognize, 75% of the participants that show up regularly. It's really quite cool, you make friends, talk about past events, goof on the RD, compare injuries and that kind of thing.
This race though, had lots of new faces, shit, I probably only recognized 5 or 6 people. Not only was it a new crowd, it was a pretty big crowd too.
Don't ask me how many. I was there to run, not count how many people were gonna beat me...

For this event there were a few options. 50k, 50m, 50k Relay. 50m Relay.
I'd signed up for the 50k months back, but the crazy ass wife was rego'd for the 50m.
Gun time was the same for all the races, 7:00 am. (I've only been to one Eagle Endurance race that didn't start on time. So if you do one of Chad's races, don't dick around. Be on time.)
After the normal porta-jon queue, of which there were two, plenty for this field, I met the wife at the starting line. 6:59:45. Cool fifteen seconds to spare.

It was a gorgeous morning to run. I think it was low 60s to start? Mostly sunny. So nice. In fact, it's been pretty damn nice around here for a few days. All this nice weather led to nice dry trails.
Good.

Double Track, nice dry double track.

The trail we're racing on, Heather tells me, is called the Swamp Fox Passage portion of the Palmetto Trail. It's a pretty damn beautiful trail.

No caption. It's just a sign.

You may have already figured this, but we are in the Carolina Low Country. There are no hills. It's flat. but man, it's pretty. Here's another picture for you.

Most of the bridges on trail were very sturdy.

I typically don't write about how my personal race goes. Who really cares if I PR'd or ran 7min miles? I try to write more about the event than my own shenanigans.
But I am going to write about my race a bit today. Because today was yet another Ultra Epiphany!

I can no longer race with my wife.
She's too fast!

We start our race at a 3/1. Three minute Run, with a One minute Walk. It's a norm for us. It gives you a chance to recover while still keeping your overall pace decent. (Experiment to see if it may work for you.) This kind of pacing will typically get me through.
Today though, I only made it to Mile 20 before hitting the shit-wall. There wasn't really any lead up to the Wall. We hit the Aid Station at the 20m mark, I felt good enough. Then one mile down the road the Wall fell on me.
I haven't had good Ultra in....well, maybe I never have?

So anyway, at mile 21 I gave the wife a kiss goodbye and watched her run off into the distance.
I hate it when she leaves, but I love watching her go.

From mile 21 to 31 I went through all the damn issues you get when doing this stupid shit. I got dizzy spells. My feet hurt. I was cramping. My kidneys hurt (?). I was hungry, grumpy and now, without my wife chatting away at me, kind of bored. And to top it off, it's now in the low 80s and I'm on a wide open fire road.

Google said this picture was free to use.

Play me a little violin. 

I took this time to analyze what the hell might be going on with me. And I of course realized a couple things. I eat like shit and I don't take the time to train properly. It seems wifey has the ability to go Couch to 50m, but this guy needs to train to do this stuff. Ultra's hurt.

Gorgeous morning. May in South Carolina is pretty great.

Enough about me. Let's talk about the race itself.
1) Trail was marked very well. There were white blazes on the trees and the intersections had orange tape and/or paint on the ground.
2) Trail was a mix of easy single track, technical single track, double track and some pavement.
3) Fully stocked and manned Aid Stations every five miles, with 2 porta-jons on course.
4) The claimed distances were accurate to within .10 miles! 
5) The RD always does a great job explaining the potential danger of wild hogs, snakes and such on trail. I didn't see any wildlife today, just some birds. I like birds.

Pine Straw covered single track. So nice.

Other than getting my ass handed to me, again, I had a really great time this race. I always do though, huh? 
I like camping, I like being outside, I like trail running and the community it supports. So ya, I do always have a good time at these races. 

I should probably have some kind of rating system for the races I do. Something like 4 out of 5 stars or some shit.

So let's go with Mini-donuts.

I give this race 10.5oz of Mini Donuts out of 10.5oz of Mini Donuts.

Because it's not about me, it's about the race. Which actually didn't have mini-donuts, but was still very well run and really damn fun.

Thanks for reading.