Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Beans are good.

Beans are good. My amazing cameo into Food Blogging.

Myrtle Beach has not, all things considered, been that great to me. Granted, I currently have a job I enjoy, a roof over my head, a hot wife and pets that I love. However, I cannot seem to get ahead financially. I could stop doing fun shit, but that'd be dumb. So instead I stay broke.
 And that requires some dietary exploration. Some of my food choices may be familiar to you, some may be new to you, but all will probably bore or disgust you.

I give you: Beans and Toast and Mayo.

Kroger Vegetarian Beans, Vegan Mayo, Glutard Bread.

 I was first exposed to this while watching a Scottish television show called "Still Game". The main characters eat this for breakfast sometimes, only with no mayo and they add tomatoes. I don't have any tomatoes. I have grapes, but didn't want to just start throwing random fruit around.

 A lot of people will look at this and turn their nose up. But why?

 Lets look at what we have here:

A) Toast.  Who the fuck doesn't like toast? I used some semi-fancy nut riddled speerulina swpeltzy spratz whole wheat bread, but white bread works fine.
B) Baked Beans. Baked Beans are an American staple. Like 'em or get the hell out of our country. The American Revolution was based on baked beans, or tea, I don't know. Maybe it was based on Sam Adams? I know the Revolution started in Boston though and I think Cam Neely had something to do with it.
C) Mayo. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on this. Not everyone likes mayo. But mayo does have a sweet flavor that reacts nicely with the beans. I obviously used Vegan Mayo, but any mayo works nicely. Just make sure it's not spoiled mayo, that's gross.

Probably more than one serving here folks.

Preparing this dish is relatively simple. Put the beans on the heat and put your choice of bread in the toaster. Get your mayo out of the fridge. 
 While everything is warming up, grab yourself a big flat bowl, NOT a plate. (The beans will make a mess if you try a plate.)
 When the toast pops, toss it into your bowl. Splat your beans out of whatever you cooked them in, then garnish with your chosen quantity of mayo.

 That's it. Total cost: Less than $1.50.

Don't waste food, eat everything on your plate, even if it makes you fat. 

I've been eating this dish for a few months now, and can offer you two advanced recipe ideas.
 Use a bagel instead of toast! An Everything or Garlic bagel adds a real nice spin.
 Try adding a handful of cherry tomatoes on top of the mayo, it essentially makes a small salad. Eat it.

Eat it or I'll come to your house with my own Beans, Toast and Mayo.

Thanks for taking the time away from whatever you've been eating to see what kind of repulsiveness I've been eating. I look forward to bringing you more of my favorite recipes in the future. Till then may I recommend an Orange for dessert?


  1. You're off your GD rocker. And it's dessert*. Rock on.

  2. This is magnificent. I'm dying. Thank you :) bahahahaha

    1. My pleasure man! I really gotta get on top of this food blogger thing.

  3. You do realize that I've been eating this for years? Our grandfather used to eat this (Papa Hart). FYI, I entered my glamourous version of this sandwich in to the Strolling of the Heifers Sandwich competition a few years back. It was the BBBLT (the baked bean BLT). I zhuzzed mine up with maple pickled onions and some artisinal vermonty bread. All good.

  4. That was both funny and disgusting. Nice job.

  5. I dont ever remember my father eating that combination of food but if you think so Jenny. Lots of protein & fiber from the beans. Just wouldnt want to be around you later on. Hope all is well.

    1. SOOO MUCH FIBER :). Definitely need to schedule this meal accordingly.