Thursday, November 24, 2016

Wall-Maht for the Gym Rat

I've never been a big guy. I've worked out for years and years. I've taken almost every supplement under the sun and tried every workout ( Except Cressfert) and still...never been a big guy.

I was kinda fit before I went to Trans Rockies. Hell, I was at the gym every day and running all the damn time.
But then I started a new job working 8-5. So getting to the gym for 6am just killed me. So I lost all my strength.
Then I sprained my ankle back in early October and had to basically take a month off from running. And I got married. So my overall fitness went completely to
pot. And this made me most unhappy. Most.

Donny Most. Don Most now.

I'm a pretty firm believer in Extrinsic Motivation, so I bought a bunch of supplements to review and try to get me motivated to go back to the gym in the early hours of the day.
Although I now have that aforementioned job, I'm still not going to pay a ton of money for supplements, especially when most of them suck.

So here's what I got:
(All from Walmart, yep Walmart.)

I've taken other Pre from Walmart and had a really great experience with it, wish I could remember what it was called though...anyway, this stuff doesn't really do anything for me. I get up at 530, suck down some coffee and nurse my Pre from 6-7 at the gym, and it does nothing for me. It's basically just an expensive Kool Ade. I'm taking the recommended dose of 1scoop,
maybe I'm supposed to snort it as opposed to mixing it with water?

Does anyone even know how Creatine works? Well I do, so I'll tell you.
When you're working out or running or whatever, your body is using ATP (Adenosine Triphosphate) to fuel the muscles. When the ATP is used it's turned into ADP (guess what that is?). Creatine attaches to that ADP to turn it back into ATP, giving you a little more pizazz, at least temporarily. That's the basic gist.
It also makes you retain water.

Protein Powder
What's the deal with Protein? How often do you
see guys purchasing a 55 gallon tub, spending a mortgage payment on protein?
And again, does anyone know exactly what Protein does for you?
Ya well, I'm not getting into this. Take a nutrition course.

Test Boost
I'm 46 yrs old now. And all my stuff doesn't work the way it used to. In fact, I'm just a few points shy of getting clinical grade Test boost. So I take over the counter (OTC) test boost. And this stuff works pretty damn well. I've been feeling more energetic and my mood has improved significantly.
If you want deets on what else Test Boost does for me, you'll have to send me some money for the videos.

I'm assuming after reading this review that you're going to run right out to your local Walmart to try some of this product for yourself. So to make the most of your Walmart time, I'm going to recommend the following exercises you can do while suffering through a Walmart visit.

Cat Litter Kettlebell Swing:
Bend at the knees, keep that back straight and thrust those hips to move the weight up. Try not to use the shoulder muscles, and try not to throw the jug at the crazy cat ladies in the aisle with you.

Make sure the cap is on tight.

Spartan Bucket Carry:
Make sure to pick up your bucket with good OSHA form. I recommend carrying your bucket for at least one full lap around the store.

These buckets also make a handy stool for when you don't have a ladder.

Overhead Press with a Lunge:
The instability of the bag makes this exercise a bit more challenging and using such a big bag will have people in the aisle thinking you are one of those crazy cat people. Which you are.

Don't touch your knee to the floor. It hurts.

You're at the Walmart, which means you're going to be leaving with a ton of shit, so you may as well work those muscles used for carrying bags of useless stuff.
Everyone in the store has horrible posture so nobody will notice you going all Quazi Moto for a bit.

Use the same kind of litter in each hand. Not all litter is made equally.

Lateral Raise:
My favourite delt exercise!
Don't cheat by swinging your arms like a freaking seagull. Slowly lift the cans up until they're even with your face.
To add extra intensity to this exercise, keep your arms up and spin around wildly screaming about how much you want Chinese Food for dinner.

What's in my pocket. Am I stealing something?

Bench Dips:
In order to do this exercise correctly you're going to have to pretend to try on shoes.
For extra intensity, keep one foot in a rubber boot.

I bought those boots so I can do this exercise at home.

You can go to a multitude of stores to find your Sport Supplements. However, I challenge you to go into GNC, buy similar products and get in as good a workout as the Walmart Workout presented above. 

If I can ever help you out with any department store workouts, please let me know.

Thanks for reading.

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