Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Product Review: Helect 2-Line Engineering Calculator - H1002


My eyes already hurt from taking a computer based exam this morning.

In order to get involved in the WIOA program I had to take the Work Keys exam at my local testing center. 

You can click that link to get more deets on Work Keys, but essentially it's a test to see what you are capable of in today's workforce environment.

I was honestly terrified to take it, I sucked in high-school and my very brief stint at Community College only made me want to punch everyone. I don't believe I have any kind of true learning dis-order, but learning and testing have never been in the upper ranks of my limited skill set.

So I took some practice tests online, surprise surprise, math is hard.
MATH IS HARD!  

Nerd tools

Look, if you don't use it, you will lose it. 

 I want Ice Cream






Who the fuck really needs to know how to calculate the volume of a cone in day to day life?  





Now I want Cranberry Sauce




When was the last time you fit 7oz cranberries into 3x5x12 foot cube and had to figure out how much godamn cranberry sauce you need to add to make three #10 cans?






Fortunately you are allowed to use a calculator for the Work Keys exam. There are obvious restrictions, such as no cell phone calcs or anything that can access the web.

But I didn't have any such calculator. Honestly, why would I? But I put out a call on the social media and got some pretty quick and amazing responses.

First I gotta thank my buddy James for the little white calc. That would ultimately make it to the exam.

Second I gotta thank my buddy Daniel for the little black calc. That too would ultimately make it to the exam.

But, and holy shit this still kills me, I really gotta thank my buddy Bleels (or Bleeps if you know him as such) for starting a Go Fund Me to get me this monster of a Calculator:



I don't know anything about fancy calculators. I didn't need them when I took "Business" Math in high school. I didn't need them while I had a job in the Printing Industry. All the calculations I use as a trainer I do in my head or with charts.

I have no idea what an Engineering Calculator actually does.

But I'm going to review it anyway. 
Listen to Mastadon.

As you probably saw in the picture above, this calculator has plenty of buttons.
Image result for buttons

My wifey is cuter than all these buttons.


It has Parentheses buttons, so if you want to do some algebra stuff, you can. 
It has a Shift Key. Which means you've essentially just doubled your functionable buttons.
It has a Sin button. I don't see a Repent button...
There's a Hyp button, but I don't believe it.
For some reason, there is a Quotation Mark " button. What the hell is that for?




I did try to read the instructions. But they were so damn small, they should have sold this calculator with a stupid magnifying glass.





However, I got enough out of the instructions to learn how to enter fractions as fractions, not as decimals. That is pretty damn handy.

This calc has an Auto Off feature which I used to its full extent, while staring slack jawed at a computer screen trying to comprehend what the hell was asked of me.




This Helect has a hard case with a cover. If you need to take a calculator into a combat zone, this could be a redeeming feature.





Those are all the things I noticed about this calculator. I don't really have any other calculators to use as a point of reference, but dollars to Doughnuts, I would recommend this machine in a second. With this calculator and not a little luck, I scored a 6 out of 7 on the Math portion. Hey, not as dumb as I thought!

Whoohoo! Not a retard!!


Obviously I can't guarantee this, or any, calculator will make you smarter, but if you need a calculator, especially if you're planning on treating it rough, get this one. 


If you need any more information on this puppy, go somewhere else. I can't help you. 

However, if you have questions about the Work Keys exam, I may be able to help.

Thanks for reading, expect either a new Fod Bloog or Race Report soon.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Not Dogs are good.

I'm starting this Fod Bloog with a picture of Texas, aka Shitten. Why? Because it's a pretty funny picture, and I don't think anyone would click on the link if they saw a picture of today's Fod Blooger recipe.

SHITTEN!!!!


I always eat like I'm on a strict budget. Perhaps I was raised that way or perhaps I've just realized that I don't have a ton of money to spend on food. 

(It's the ladder. My Dad was a professional chef and my mother and sister will put most cooks to shame. It's a "me" thing.)

Today's recipe is "No Perro Borrito con Uvas y Limonada" 

Or, if you're not SSL (Spanish as a Second Language),

"Not Dog Wraps with Grapes and Lemonade"

Doesn't that look good!?


What you'll need:
 1) A frying pan
 2) Earl, veggie or olive. (Earl is how they say Oil in the south)
 3) Knife, cutting board optional, French Knife recommended
 4) One package of Tofu Hot Dogs, aka Not Dogs or No Perro
 5) Flour Tortillas or Wraps, Corn Tortillas are too dry for this
 6) Nutritional Yeast
 7) Grapes
 8) One can of Lemonade or Limonada
 9) One ugly worn out plastic bowl
 10) A television to distract you from your own horrible reality

What is that thing in the lower left? I've no idea. Cheese? Potato? Yucca? Plastic? No, its the hole in the cutting board.


If your Grapes and Lemonade aren't already, stick em in the fridge. They taste better cold.

Heat up your frying pan. Yep, just heat up the pan. Put it on a burner at Med/High and heat it up a bit.

While the pan is heating, slice up your Not Dogs to the desired thickness. I recommend slicing them at an angle with about a quarter inch thickness. This'll make 'em crispy on the outside without drying out the inside.

Add some earl to your hot frying pan. Be careful though. That pan's hot, don't burn yourself. Don't use a ton of earl, we're here to saute not deep fry.

I found this frying pan when I was cleaning out abandoned apartments. I bought the earl.


Finish slicing up the Not Dogs if you were too damn slow. Do you even know how to use a French Knife?

Choppy Choppy


Got 'em all sliced? Throw them into the pan.

This is only a half of a package of No Perros



You should be cooking them over Med/High heat still. If you don't have a good Frying Pan Flip, you can stir them up about every sixty seconds or so. Don't use a metal utensil in your non-stick pan!

Saute until both sliced edges are crispy brown then throw a couple of wraps on top of the pan, you wanna warm them up a bit and why bother dirtying another pan or using the microwave.

Pro Tip: Leave a little hanging over the edge. This makes it easier to remove with just your fingers.


You may need tongs, or a fork, or just use your fingers to remove the wraps once you've gotten them nice and warm. 

Toss the wraps into your bowl and portion out your Not Dogs onto the wraps.

Sprinkle liberally with Nutritional Yeast and roll however you deem fit to make borritos. (pronounced Boh-Ree-Tohz)

Remove your grapes from the fridge and toss a handful into the bowl.

Grab your lemonade, a napkin and your bowl of deliciousness and sit your fat ass down in front of some Arrested Development

Ta-da.

I hope you enjoy today's recipe, and thanks for reading.



This is some other grossness, Protein Pancakes, from 2015.




Thursday, November 2, 2017

Event Review: Allison Woods Halloween Hobble





This will be an interesting review. I did not actually race in The Allison Woods Halloween Hobble, but instead went up to Crew and Pace for a buddy of mine who was shooting at his first Ultra.


He had won his entry through a contest on the Allison Woods Halloween Hobble Facebook page a couple of weeks prior, and originally had nobody to go up with him as on such short notice the whole crew of us had work, plans, etc.
 But fate is finicky bitch and I got fired four days before his race and I decided it was good trail Karma to help a bud out. So off we went.

It's a good four plus hour drive to a little backwoods North Carolina town called Turnersburg. We left Myrtle around maybe 1pm. The most direct route goes through Colombia and Charlotte and of course the traffic Friday afternoon sucked, we lost a good half hour just sitting there. Gonna hafta plan for that next year...

After making it to Turnersburg, we had a little trouble dialing in the actual location of the race. The GPS was a bit vague and there were no signs for the race (first time race, I didn't expect Tough Mudder kind of sign coverage). We did however finally find our dirt road, which was guarded by a couple of really nice older gentlemen wearing Military Police uniforms. I'm thinking that was costume?

It's a pretty short drive down a decent dirt road, some of which is part of the course, to the camp/rego area.

The camping area is excellent. We set our tent up right on the side of course along with all the other racers. The course parallels an old grass airstrip. We were asked not to camp on the airstrip itself as to not kill any grass. Makes sense.

I want to emphasize the excellent camping situation at this race. The airfield is a great place for kids to play. No, I still don't like kids, but many people have them, my wife included, and if you wanted to bring them to this event, they'd have a place to safely play. 

Never did find out if it was an active air-strip




Well, sort of safely...I mentioned how this race was in a little backwoods town? There were multiple gunshots heard from all directions, so many rednecks out there. I did see several deer running for their life across the airstrip. So maybe getting hit by a deer would be a danger to your little kids, as would getting shot by some redneck. Granted the RD can't do anything about either the rednecks or wildlife, but maybe wrap your kid in bright orange or something.


There are three porta-jons at the transition area (TA) crossroad. This was not a big race, so three was definitely enough, an excellent foresight by the RD. Nobody wants porta-jon issues. There's a big campfire set up in the common area, ready for the night time cold. Crap, no picture.


When we arrived everyone was there was very friendly, as most Ultras are. We spent a bit of time talking with some of the organizers and my bud got his swag-bag which contained a cool cotton tshirt, a gift card for a pair of Thorlo socks, a pair of throw-away gloves, glow sticks and a cooling towel. Pretty excellent swag for a first time race.

There's a little bit of folk lore surrounding this woods. I won't spoil all the details, but a local Pastor came out and told a pretty funny story about a creature known to inhabit these woods. There was also the National Anthem sung by one of the volunteers.

Like every Ultra I've done to date, there's a huge sense of community.



I'm going to try to find an actual course map to share, but in case I forget: 

Great course!

 There was nothing too technical and all of the course was excellently marked. There was some elevation gain, 9,600 ft for a Hundred Miler, which is pretty significant if your'e a flat-lander.
 The course was an interesting mix of Out and Backs and loops, again all excellently marked. 
 When leaving the start line racers take a right into the woods on to some really nice double track. This initial section has a quick little descent then some gain to it as it curves around a pretty swampy lake and deeper into the woods. 

Looks kind of creepy, but was actually really pretty.

 There's an intersection at towards the bottom and racers take another right up a fire road for an Out and Back, again there's some gain, but there's also some beautiful distractions on this section. Between the old farm and the bamboo forest, it was easy to forget this was a race.

Might have been missile in there?



I have a shitty camera, this was actually taken with a shitty gopro.

Whoa...upside down dude!


 This road brought the racers to roughly One mile, and there was an aid station here designating the turn around. This aid station had food and a porta-jon, and later that night was manned and had a heater set up. Excellent.

I think I see Pedialyte?


 After leaving this aid station it was back down the hill, past the Bamboo and such to that first intersection where we take a right. It descends a bit before starting another climb.

These aren't brutal leg tearing climbs, they're nice mellow grades. But after ten miles, you are going to feel them. And probably hate them. After thirty miles, you will definitely hate them.

This picture is not relative to the actual part of the course I'm describing, but you can get the gist of the terrain.


 The course winds it way back up to the TA where it crosses over the airfield. It was easy enough to hit up the porta-jons here if you needed. There were volunteers here pointing runners to the trail head on the other side.

Queen does not belong on my Rush station!



 There's a nice little picnic area at this trail head that had a good bunch of picnic tables set up and a little long since used fire ring. But it was very scenic, and those tables made a nice place to sit after thirty miles.

Everyone likes a picnic.



 Leaving the picnic area there was some descent through the woods, again on nice open double track. The descent brought you past more ruins and some rednecky deer stands. You can probably tell I'm not into rednecks.

I want you to join together with the band.


 This section is about a mile or so (I think, I don't remember exactly) and loops you back to the airfield.

 This next section was a little rough to run on. It was the airfield. Yep ya ran alongside the airfield. It wasn't a long stretch but it was soft and grassy. I never saw any uneven surfaces, just thick grass.

 After a quick airstrip run you shoot back into the woods, with of course, a little elevation gain. This is another very pretty section. It parallels a paved road and through the trees you can see some beautiful fields and a nice home.
 Taking a left this time, for another little gain, we're starting the home stretch. Another rednecky deer stand and another wonderful forest, we finally spit back out onto the airfield and head towards the TA.
 The race course at this point is still on fire road, but your tent is right there on course. It's excellent, in fact the whole environment was everything I've grown to love about this stupid sport.


 I didn't eat off any of the aid stations (I was a pacer, not a paid runner) but I did see lots of good typical Ultra food, at both stations. 

 The RD was cool cat and made a point to talk with everyone.

 The volunteers were great, I hope they didn't take any grumpy Ultra-runner comments seriously.

 There was some mad karaoke going on til all hours. This was pretty funny actually. But think about earplugs for sleeping.

 I mentioned the quantity of shitters. Win.

 There was actually live tracking offered at this race. People could track your progress from home, that's pretty cool. The timing as a whole seemed excellent and the timing company provided plenty of real time data to racer.

The finisher awards were all custom made. (Sorry, no pics but you might find them on their FB page)


I only have two stupid complaints. 
 1) Black Sabbath wasn't playing at the TA. But why the hell would they? (This was just an excuse to put in a Heavy Metal link.)
 2) There weren't Koala Bears in the bamboo forest. Koala bears hang out in eucalyptus not bamboo. So this is a wicked stupid complaint. I'm thinking of Panda Bears.


NOT A PANDA BEAR


It was a helluva drive to get to this race, but about the same as a Greenville or Spartenburg race. Next year I'd like to take a whole group of us up. The course and layout allow for this race to grow quite a bit, which I'd like to see and hope our Myrtle Beach crew can help make happen. This year there were several race options. 6hr, 12hr, 24hr, 100m, and 100m relay both with 30hr cut-offs. This leaves plenty of options for us regardless of what kind of training cycle or race plan we're on.

 Hey, thanks for reading. Don't forget to check out all my wicked awesome sneaker reviews,  or my fod bloogs, and I may have an actual race report in the next ten days or so.

Monday, October 9, 2017

Product Review: Karhu Fast 7

Sometimes you need a Porsche, sometimes you need a Cadillac and sometimes you need a School bus.
Sometimes you need a Saucony Kinvara, sometimes you need a Hoka Clifton and sometimes you need a Karhu Fast.

Who really needs a school bus?

Smashy smashy



As with any review/reviewer, it's important too look at what other products have been given the Thumbs Up or Thumbs down. Just because I like something doesn't automatically mean you will. How do my other reviews compare with your own experiences? That is very important in any review.

After writing my last blog I decided to make a Rush Pandora station. Wow. Did you ever hear the Power Windows album? I had that on cassette back when I was in Airborne School in '91.

I think my opening comments rather set the tone for this Shoe Review, but I shall elaborate.

The Fast 7 has what Karhu calls "MRE" Maximum Rolling Efficiency" based on a "Fulcrum" in the bed of the shoe.
A Size 10US weighs in at 11.2oz and has a pretty wide sole.
These attributes are designed to help with the landing all the way through the roll and into the toe off.
There's a 10mil Heel/Toe drop and some pretty serious plastic overlays holding your foot into the shoe.
Karhu calls this their Everyday Training Shoe.

That is indeed rabbit turd in the background. 



There's a few things that I, and I think all of us, look for in a shoe. Comfort, Running Efficiency of the shoe with our stride, style, price and reputation of the company.

Lets jump right in eh?

Comfort: Nope.
Not for this guy. There's something going on on the lateral side of the heel. This shoe is almost pushing me into pronation. I don't want that.
After wearing these at work for 6hrs, I could not wait to take them off.

Running Efficiency: I ran one of our typical 5k loops just now. So let's do some pros and cons.
They stayed nice and secure to me foot, there's no slipping in the shoe (I was wearing Feetures Ultra Lights).
 There's the pro.
I have no idea what the MRE Fulcrum concept is really doing in this shoe. No matter what kind of foot strike I used, I felt nothing assisting in the gait.
I was still conscious of being pushed into pronation.
Although it wasn't harsh, the cush under the forefoot doesn't stand out as anything to brag about. 
I felt like I was getting jammed up with each landing. I had a hard time rolling through my natural gait.
Although all the plastic on there makes them look waterproof, they're not.

Style: That's one fugly shoe. What the hell do I look like? A twelve year old?

Pretty great picture in the background, but man is this shoe ugly.



Price: One Hundred and Twenty Dollars. Want me to show what you can get for 120 bones?

And you'd still have change for a case of Miller Genuine Draft.


Reputation: Karhu is a Finnish company based out of Helsinki, and they've  been around since 1916. They originally started making skis, javelins and wooden sports shit, then moved on to shoes. They even made skis and boots for the Finnish Army during the Winter War with the Soviets. (Even though the Soviets ultimately ended up winning through sheer numbers, the Finns kicked their ass at every turn, many times through the use of Ski Troops. That my friends is fucking bad-ass. Finns are bad-ass, plain and simple) And Karhu is still around today, rocking the feet off the Finns. That's a pretty solid reputation. One hundred years.


And my final thoughts on this Karhu Shoe...

This shoe is not a shoe for me. Hell no.

But is it a shoe for you?  If you want something on your foot that you are very, very aware of, if you need a back-up rubber mallet,
if you need support on the lateral side of you foot (lateral is a fancy term for Outer) or if you're looking for a pair of ugly non-performance enhancing shoes to match your ugly non-performance enhancing outfit, this is the shoe for you.

Tent Peg banging tools.

Honestly, I think a new runner with a normal foot, maybe on the heavier side would like this shoe.  It's not awful like a Walmart shoe by any stretch. You can tell it's a quality built shoe.

I hope to one day maybe get my hand on something Karhu that isn't footwear. I really want to like them, not just because of the cutesy Bear logo, but mostly because I really dig that they're heavily involved in really cool Finnish Sports and they helped kick some Soviet ass way back in the day.

Rock on Karhu.


Announcing my Second Give Away!!!

Simply comment below with your shoe size. If your'e the right size, you win! Plus, get a free T-shirt to show everyone your support for this bus crash of a shoe. Plus Plus, get a free matching pint glass that you can put your pens or spare change in.

You can win!


Only one pair of shoes will be given away. First person with same shoe size wins the entire package.

UPDATE 11/18/2017
I have donated these abominations to a charity at a race this past weekend.

Later shit-shoe.
Ya, there's  more than a hint of hostility there.


This review was originally posted on October 9, 2017. At the time I was working at the only local store where you could purchase this shoe. 
As a free-agent blogger, I write about whatever the hell I want, I do my best not to slander or name names and provide honest,, if sometimes less than favorable, reviews.

My employer at this time took offense to this blog and asked me to remove it, actually he had a hissy fit and asked his wife to call me to ask me to remove it. When I refused my wife was hassled at home by our employers.
Long story short, as I could elaborate for hours, management then drew up a Social Media clause to add to the employee handbook. The terms were less than agreeable, showing an obvious and shameful powertrip on the part of the employer, and the relationship quickly went south, leading ultimately to termination and a very ugly split in the running community.



Thursday, October 5, 2017

Fourty Seven Tendencies of Highly Unsuccesfull People


 At forty seven I sometimes feel like maybe somewhere down the line I should have had some direction in my life.
 Hell, I probably did have direction but got confused or lost or distracted or whatever.

Creative trail marking, creative life decisions. Symbiosis.

Today, so I may help all of you from making similar decisions, I am going to attempt to dial in the deets on what the hell went wrong.

And let me emphasize this point: I may not have a ton of shit, but I'm happy as hell. So take that Success.

Here we go in no particular order (I wrote this over several days so my mind wandered all over the place).

FAIR WARNING: Most of the links send you to music videos. Van Halen, Twisted Sister, Rush, Iron Maiden and such. You should listen to them while reading this. That's why I put them there.

1a) Miscount whenever possible: If the presentation calls for forty seven bullet points, give 'em forty six. Or try to over achieve and shoot for forty eight. Or twelve and half.

1b
) Misspell "Successful" in the title of your blog.

2) Stay hungry: There's never going to be enough food to feed this stupid planet anyway, and you need to do your part. Being hungry all the time makes for some wonderfully piss poor decisions. Whether it's dieting or just being poor, Stay Hungry.

3) Pick a career in a dying trade: Get yourself a job at Best Buy or Blockbuster. I put my years into the printing industry. Stupid internet.

4) Spend all your money on your pets: Got a decent 501k? You should probably cash that in to afford the vet bill. In fact do it twice. (Hint: it's worth it)

5) Skip College:  Maybe you don't need a degree to get a decent job, but I tell you what, being half educated pretty much guarantees you're going to be working at that Blockbuster or picking up garbage.

Harvard is pretty. I miss New England.


6) Waste your High School years: My Dad ran a sub two minute half mile in school. Do you know how fast that is? It's really damn fast. He spent his time on athletics and studying. I spent my school years getting laid, getting stoned and playing bass in a Thrash Metal Band (see #3, Thrash is pretty dead).

7) Don't sweat the light stuff: Don't sweat the important stuff either. You should only sweat when exercising or eating.

8) Fall asleep while reading textbooks: Reading is hard, sleeping is easy.

9) Ignore parental advice: Remember when your Dad told you not to get married straight outta high school? But you were smarter than him, huh? Or worse...maybe you got someone pregnant? Remember when the family disapproved of you dating that heroin addict? 

This ain't her, but you get the idea.

10) Collect credit cards from different banks and see which ones you can max out the quickest: Use your credit cards to buy shit you don't need. Use your credit cards to buy your friends shit they don't need. And then when you lose your minimum wage job you can buy crappy food. Or race entries....and that conveniently brings us to eleven.

11) Spend all your money on your hobbies: Race entries and gear, race entries and gear, race entries and gear. You cannot have enough EVER. This shit never ends.

12) Don't live in box: Boxes are quite frail, cardboard will not withstand a storm. You wanna live in bunker. A big fuckoff concrete bunker with rubber coated walls, inside and out. Everything you want to keep out should bounce off, nothing gets through unless its given to you by a hot blonde chick.

If I lived in a bunker on the beach I'd probably come out to surf a bit more. 


13) Develop random and miscellaneous OCDs. OCDs are an integral part of anyone's personality. When I'm not dicking around on this blog or falling asleep in an un-read textbook I really enjoy cleaning. If your environment is similar to a barn, this gives plenty of opportunity for you to OCD the shit of your day. 

This structure is more stable than my apartment building.


14) Suffer an un-documented head injury: Use your imagination here.

15) Judge not lest ye be judged: What the hell kinda bullshit is that anyway? We all judge each other whether consciously or not. It happens. 

Recognize this? See bullet point #6.


17) Don't put anything other than cocaine up your nose. This coming from a guy that's never even done cocaine.

I just wanted to post this picture.

18) Live like there's no tomorrow: The hand of the Grim Reaper could be reaching out for you right now. That Savings Account isn't gonna stop him. Neither is that horrible song I just linked up there.

19) See bullet point 1a and stop at 19 points.

  There you go. What a bunch of crap. In a few years perhaps we can look back on this and laugh. 

   If I was successful (in the socially accepted point of view) I would probably be at work right now and not have time to write this drivel.

 To hell with the socially accepted point of view. Better to be poor and happy with nothing than rich and miserable with everything.  Although longterm I think it'd be better to be kind of rich and happy with something. I gotta work on that. When that happens I shall write another blog post called "The Sixty Three Tendencies of Kinda Rich and Happy People".

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Product Review: Mt Olive Sweet Salad Peppers

Attempt #2 at the Food Blogger thing.

Food Bloger. Fod Blooger. I like that better. I'm gonna be a Fod Blooger.

I'm currently drinking some of that new 1.75% Maxwell House coffee. It's gross, but has me pretty cranked for a 1pm coffee.

But I'm not reviewing coffee today (maybe later). Today I'm going to put forward my two cents on Mt Olive Sweet Salad Peppers.

Wasn't Mt Olive where Jesus gave his speech?

I think everyone likes sandwiches. We all like our own type of sandwich, of course. But I feel confident that everyone has to eat sandwiches sometime. Or burgers, ya? Does everyone eat some kind of burger? Of course we do. I obviously only eat the veggie burgers, but I like to doll them up the same way you nasty carnivores doll up your Cow Paddy. 

 Maybe some (vegan) mayo? Lettuce or Spinach? Tomato? What else? Ketchup, Mustard? Sauerkraut? The list goes on. 

 Well, I like to use Sweet Pepper slices.

I'm sure you've come to recognize that dinner plate.

These peppers add a nice little tang to my meal. 

I'm not the best at describing a unique taste, especially while drinking coffee. How the hell am I supposed to remember EXACTLY what they taste like. 

But I can tell you, they're a little sweet and a little tangy with just a hint of onion going on.

The product is indeed Peppers, but they're pickled. They're good. If you don't like peppers or onions or though, you won't like these. Probably. And you probably don't like sauerkraut? (Side note, the Sweet Salad Peppers don't have the same gastrointestinal issues as the kraut often does)

Peppers and Onions

I tried finding an image of the ingredient list, to no avail. So I had to poke around a bit and found this list, which does match the in-copy-able image on Mt. Olives' site.

Ingredients

Banana Peppers, Onions, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Water, Vinegar, Salt, Mustard Seeds, Calcium Chloride, 0.1% Sodium Benzoate (Preservative), Celery Seeds, Sodium Bisulfite (Preservative), and Yellow 5.

Serving Size: 1 oz (28g, about 7 pieces)
Amount per Serving
Calories                    40Kcal 2%
Calories from Fat    0Kcal 0%
Total Fat                  0g 0%
Saturated Fat           0g 0%
Trans Fat                  0g 0%
Cholesterol               0mg 0%
Sodium                      180mg 8%
Total Carbohydrate  9g 4%
Dietary Fiber            0g 0%
Added Sugars           3.5g 15%
Sugars                      7g 16%
Protein                      0g 0%
Vitamin A                 100IU 2%
Vitamin C                 3.6mg 5%
Calcium                     0mg 0%
Iron                            0mg 0%
Vitamin D                 0IU 0%
Not exactly a high nutrition food source, but it's a fucking condiment!

My biggest problem with this labeling is the serving size. Seven pieces. Seven? What am I a damn rabbit? Each piece is about the diameter and thickness of a nickel. 


 For some reason it didn't show up, but Mt Olive says you'll typically get seven servings of seven pieces per jar. So approx. 49 chunks of pepper in a 12oz jar. This averages to 8cents per piece of pepper. (There is no cent symbol on my keyboard...) These retail about 3.89 per jar.

 I'm gonna tell ya, no way in hell is a human serving size seven gahdam pieces. Try 20, which brings your single condiment value up to $1.60. 

Just throwing fancy Business Math math at you here, try to keep up.

And just like that, we're now at 2.5-ish servings per jar. If you eat two sandwiches or burgers per meal, as I do, you are now stuck with a half a bloody serving of peppers clogging up the fridge.

 I don't like to bitch without offering options to the said problem. Two immediate solutions come to mind. Three, three immediate solutions come to mind:

 1) Use a bigger serving. Just go with two servings per jar. Not really cost effective, but I hate useless clutter in the fridge.
 2) Get a bigger jar. This one's probably the best option, if the jar fits in the fridge.
 3) Don't even buy this product. Bad option, these are tasty.

Once again, I'm skint, so I won't be buying these for some time.

TOO EXPENSIVE MT OLIVE!!!

But man, if you have the extra money to throw into some garnish, this is a pretty good way to go. Add a little bit of summer time flavor to an otherwise boring sandwich, put some flare into a salad or just eat them straight out of the jar.

The Mt Olive webpage has some recipes for you foodies. I don't do recipes, so let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading the Fod Blooger.