Blatant Click Bait right here. Isn't he cute? That's Agent B.
I love sushi.
The first time I had sushi was with the Marilyn Manson Girl at Shin La in Brattleboro VT back in maybe...2001? 2002? Oh shit, it might've been in 1999.
Since then I've been rolling my own sushi more than going out for it.
Even though I only eat Vegetarian Sushi, it still gets pricey paying $4 a roll when I easily eat 5 or 6 rolls.
Rolling my own is not only cheaper, it's also kind of fun and allows me to experiment a bit.
Sometimes my sushi is really damn good. It's pretty hard to fuck up a Football Roll (Cream Cheese and smashed Doritos). And sometimes its just rather "meh."
Every day's a gamble in my kitchen. Every god damn day.
Here's a link to Andy "God Damn" Williams' Christmas Songs to help get you in the Christmas-y mood.
There's a few basic ingredients I need to make sushi, however your needs may vary.
1) Nori. Gotta have it.
2) Rice. White, Jasmine, Brown, doesn't matter. Need rice.
3) Stuffing. Veggies of some kind.
4) Vinegar. I have Apple Cider Vinegar at my house.
5) Sugar. I have White Granulated here.
Don't worry, there'll be pictures of most of this stuff. Sort of.
Putting all this together is actually pretty basic.
Get your rice going. Make sure you're cooking it right though. Each type of rice requires different care.
I used Jasmine Rice. One to Two ratio, boil then simmer for 15min.
While your rice is simmering, dig your Nori out from behind the pancake mix.
It even says "perfect for sushi" right on the label.
Prep your stuffing. All I had was one lone avocado for today. The rabbits get more veggies than I do.
(No picture, you know what an Avocado looks like)
Mix your sugar and vinegar in a microwave safe bowl, then microwave until dissolved.
This is where you can make or break your sushi...
How sweet do you want your rice? Add more or less sugar.
How tart do you want your rice? Add more or less vinegar
How red to you want your rice? Skip the sugar and use last years red sugar sprinkles!!!
One picture, two ingredients. Efficiency.
Got your rice cooked to perfection? Good! Now comes the Christmas in Christmas Sushi.
Add your vinegar and red sugar sprinkle concoction.
I think this picture speaks for itself.
You are now ready to roll some damn sushi!
Don't fall for the hype that you need a sushi mat and special tools and shit to roll sushi. You only need that stuff if you want to do a good job.
All you need is a spatula.
Slap some rice onto your nori and revel in how festive it looks. That red (pink?) rice against that green nori just screams Christmas.
Keeping a furry ornament nearby guarantees you'll get your RDA of fur. Just incase you didn't get enough cat or rabbit hair in your breakfast grits.
But it gets better! Now lay down some of your sliced avocado, adding more green to your holiday.
Recognize that sexy dinner plate on the right? Hell ya you do!
Now you need to roll it, slice it and eventually, I suppose, eat it.
It actually tasted just fine. Put enough wasabi and soy sauce on anything...
With last years Red Sugar Sprinkles you can turn anything into a Holiday Dish. You should make this for family Thanksgiving.
Stay tuned for Christmas Garlic Mashed Potatoes with Asparagus.
Green Asparagus, by the way.